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Well, Iapos;m really bad at this whole no boys.. Keeping the same boys thing. So now I have two new ones: 1.) Chris AKA Lifeguard: He works at my work, I think heapos;s really hot, he is in training to become a firefighter.. My friend Paul totally hooked it up, now weapos;re talking. 2.) Tommy: Jasonapos;s best friend.. Yes, that Jason. But now that Alicia is with Scott Spicer.. I need a Newark boy, so Jon gave him my number and Iapos;ve been texting Tommy like off the hook. Heapos;s coming to see me at work tomorrow, weapos;ll see how this goes. :]

Lyrics from Lookinapos; For A Good Time:
"Go ahead and lie to me and pull me close.
Tell me that you love me, even if you donapos;t.
The rule is donapos;e you ever even talk about forever,
But you never say never in life..

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Iapos;ve decided to go vegan for awhile. My motivations are half ethical, half a test of willpower. I donapos;t have a moral problem with eating dairy and Iapos;m allergic to eggs, but I do have one with factory farming and the conditions most dairy animals are subjected to. So Iapos;m testing out veganism, slowly but surely. Iapos;ve stopped buying non-vegan food and am slowly running out of the dairy products I already had in the apartment. I have a few vegan cookbooks already, but was wondering if anyone else can offer up titles they live by?

I saw the film Tsotsi this evening and wow, good movie, but hard to watch. I have a pretty high tolerance for violence/gore/disturbing images, but I almost had to turn this one off. I guess thatapos;s what you get with films about gangs in South African shanty towns, eh?
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Oh lord. I just went driving with my dad and ended up crying because I hit the curb really hard and forgot to break and it was very overwhelming and crying was the only way to solve it. I feel really silly now, and also bad for my Dad bless him, because he was only trying to help.

I am trying to calm down and breathe deeply and la la la sunshine and rainbows.

~

Farflkhgfkdgfdnbfds Andy Murray, why do you make me hate you so? I like you, I really do. You are a fantastic tennis player and everything, but for Godapos;s sake man, stop beating players I like more than you (see: Roger Federer) My poor baby will be sad now and I am not happy. You have deprived me of a Fedal final (becuase seriously, I will eat something that is not edible if Rafa looses) and all itapos;s pretty slashy gayness.

D:

~

I am looking forward to tonight with a sense of nervous anticipation. Idk, Iapos;m worried it will be boring and that thereapos;s not enough/too many people coming and that thereapos;s too much/not enough food and too much/not enough booze and that something will happen and seriously, I need to chill out and just be happy because itapos;s my party, and Iapos;ll cry if I want too ;)

(And also on top of all of that there are Kevin butterflies f,sbfdsbfsbfdsja)

~

I am breathing. I am calm.

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I took my first yoga class today. I decided to make a few huge life changes and twice a week yoga is one of them. This is going to be one of the best decisions I will make, it will help with my stress, lack of exercise, improve mental health, improve my breathing, improve circulation, improve overall health, and simply a peace of mind. Mikes mom has been a yoga teacher for years and is currently taking classes all over to see which she likes best. I met her at the St. Pete yoga studio and it was one of the best experiences Ive had in the exercise dept. I was told I was a natural and that I did great. Im so excited to go again
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There was a strange mixture of emotions that came with finally knowing, though rather than letting herself examine them and deal with them, Jill was simply trying to keep them quiet and to herself. With the exception of Caroline, her friends were alive, even if they werenapos;t all okay, but sheapos;d left. When the rest of the lab had pulled together, Jill had run away from David and Toronto and NorBAC and she still wasnapos;t sure what to make of that. Sheapos;d left a job she loved and a place sheapos;d been happy because of the bombing.

Maybe sheapos;d been fooling herself in thinking she was stronger than that.

Frowning, Jill poured herself a cup of coffee, intending on returning to the lab. Between her own work sheapos;d abandoned a few weeks ago and the information Carson and Rodney had pulled off Michaelapos;s computers, she actually had something to do. But she was distracted, discontent, she wasnapos;t sure if anything she could do now would be decent work or just garbage sheapos;d have to throw away in a few days.

Turning into the rec room instead, she glanced over at the bookshelf to find it lined with film reels, all reading ReGenesis: A Spontaneous Moment. "Oh, very funny," she muttered, shooting it a glare as she sipped her coffee. "I spend two years looking for that very reel and now that Iapos;ve seen it, itapos;s all you want to give me."

As she spoke, the jukebox clicked to the life and a second later she could hear the familiar openings of TNT. "Oh, and thatapos;s hilarious," she said dryly, turning toward the machine as AC/DC filled the room.

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I got this idea from a video I saw on youtube, which was titled "Tales of Mere Existance: Iapos;m not going to think about her" by a guy named Lev and he kept saying things he wasnapos;t going to think about that all related to his ex-girlfriend. I just wanted to see if it would help me too, and it did in its own kind of way...

Iapos;m not going to think about her... Iapos;m not going to think about how we met online... Iapos;m not going to think about how we smiled the same way... Iapos;m not going to think about how hard it was to hold her hand... Iapos;m not going to think about how small her teeth felt when we first kissed... Iapos;m not going to think about how her eyes always had that special sparkle in them... Iapos;m not going to think about how her hair always seemed perfect... Iapos;m not going to think about how she would run her hand through my hair even though I never really liked it... Iapos;m not going to think about how she cut herself in a bowl of soup... Iapos;m not going to think about how whenever she smiled it made me feel special... Iapos;m not going to think about her smooth skin... Iapos;m not going to think about how her breasts grew from a B to a D... Iapos;m not going to think about how she would always nag me about my grammar... Iapos;m not going to think about how sometimes I felt that we were the only two people on the planet... Iapos;m not going to think about how we felt that it would always work out... Iapos;m not going to think about how she would inspire me to write poetry... Iapos;m not going to think about the time I gave her flowers and then gave that big romantic kiss you only see in movies... Iapos;m not going to think about the time we were making-out in her room and her mom almost caught us... Iapos;m not going to think about how we would argue about nothing... Iapos;m not going to think about all the times she told me I was too serious... Iapos;m not going to think about how she always laughed at my jokes even when they were lame... Iapos;m not going to think about how we were so different but still made it work... Iapos;m not going to think about how she could always cheer me up... Iapos;m not going to think about the first time she said "I love you"... Iapos;m not going to think about her gigantic breasts... Wait, I already said that... Iapos;m not going to think about how her parents always hated me... Iapos;m not going to think about the time she dumped me... Iapos;m not going to think about how happy I was when she came back... Iapos;m not going to think about how angry I was when she dumped me again... Iapos;m not going to think about how hard it was to trust her when she came back again... Iapos;m not going to think about how hurt she was when she learned I had moved on... Iapos;m not going to think about the time she stopped talking to me for almost a year... Iapos;m not going to think about how she told me she missed me... Iapos;m not going to think about how we secretly dated despite her parents... Iapos;m not going to think about how we only talk online anymore... Iapos;m not going to think about how she never has time to send me a reply... Iapos;m not going to think about how she used to write "I love you" at the end of her e-mails... Iapos;m not going to think about how she virtually ignores me now, so I guess itapos;s probably over because she doesnapos;t have the time for me anymore, but her eyes still tell me she loves me so for now I guess that will have to be enough...

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I saw "The Duchess" today and was not impressed.�� It seemed to me that all the prettiest gowns were shown in the trailer and publicity stills Bah� She did have some riding habits and redingotes that were nice, plus the chemise gown was pretty, but other than that, it looked like the Joanns home dec flatfold table vomited all over them.�� : /�� I also liked her various robes, but just not the fabrics they were done in.
There was something weird with the sleeves on some of the gowns. �They just didnapos;t�look like they fit right or something.�

OH�BUT�THE�WORST �The makeup was terrible At one point she was wearing some blue frosted eyeshadow. Wha?� It totally distracted me, and all I could think about was her terrible eye makeup. Hahaha
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Well, i survived having a breast biopsy done today. OMG may i never, ever have to go through that again. Just the waiting before the procedure was awful. They came out twice to tell me the doctor was running behind. By the time they came to get me, i was nauseous, feeling very claustrophobic, and ready to run. The doctor saw how nervous i was and suggested canceling today, rescheduling and being medicated before the procedure. I said if he didnapos;t do it now, i would not be back. The waiting was the worst part. I was able to calm myself pretty well. I had my collar necklace against my lips, ran thoughts from my Master through my mind, and focused on pleasing him. It worked. They ended up taking six biopsy samples. In order to get them, they gave me several pain medication injections. They said it would only feel like a bee sting but, DAMN it was a humongous bee. IT HURT i left sore, bleeding slightly, and already bruised. Called Sir from the parking lot and arranged to meet him at our favorite restaurant, Kim Chee House, for lunch. Just seeing him and feeling his touch did wonders for me.

Sirapos;s bunny

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